Counting the blessing, despite the costs

For whatever reason, I allow myself to be vulnerable on Sundays.  It allows me to reflect on past blessings and prepare myself for future challenges.  This rainy Sunday is no exception.

As K has mentioned in previous posts, 2012 has been an active year for us.  "They" say moving, marriage, death, starting school and getting a job are major life events. Imagine stuffing all of those major types of events in one year for a family of three to manage.  In addition to K starting school in January, we have a razor sharp focus in making not only the love in our family recognized, but also doing whatever we can to make sure the financial and legal protections are there as well.  Our amazing wedding in March was one step in that direction (though at this point our marriage is not yet acknowledged or recognized by our great federal government or in the Sunshine State in which we live). 

Another milestone in our life took place on July 6th.  That was the day that Judge W. issued her final judgement declaring that our little E is now legally both K and my daughter. We prepared for this day for over a year, with background checks, thousand of dollars spent, home visits by our social worker and 10 different letters of recommendations from E's grandparents, teachers, and others who know us.  Thank goodness the close session was smooth and took only 10 minutes.

E is now officially E.E.!!!! WooHoo!!!!! We're the first family in our county to have a second parent adoption. (In 2010, Florida overturned it's neanderthal ban against gay parent adoption allowing for 2nd parent adoptions).* 

I am so grateful and appreciative that "little E" (um she actually is now taller than me)  feels that I am Mom 2 (too)  :-).  As K and I developed our relationship, E and I did too (if you would have asked either E or me at the time, we probably would have passed on getting to know each other).  We muddled through the bumps, bruises, mistakes, insecurities, laughter and tears. She not only gets my jokes, but laughs.  She loves house music and I have a new found respect for Avatar The Last Airbender and Adventure Time. Together we've been through emergency room visits, the start of middle school and countless piano performances (she's amazing by the way, and no I am not bias).  E understands that no matter what, K will always be there and be her mom. So Will I.  No matter what happens, regardless of our success in trying to add to our family, E will always be our first born and the joy in both of our hearts.  She is an AWESOME person, her energy and spirit is remarkable and I'm proud she is ours.

She also knows that even though her biological father has passed and despite never meeting him, she will always be His daughter and at Anytime explore who He was and that part of Her and Her family when She Is Ready.

For several years E has been my "daughter", but now she is my Daughter. Not through 9 months of gestation, but it happened authentically and organically.  It's imperative and important to me that I am responsible and accountable for her emotional, legal and financial well being.  No person, law or backwards ideology can take those rights and privileges away.  It's so kewl that she has an extended family to share with and love inclusive of a Papa, Bube, Aunt T, Aunt N, Cousins K & K and countless others.

For more information and a much better explanation of the challenges same-sex families encounter see the NYTimes Article:
A Family With Two Moms, Except in the Eyes of the Law


*Second parent adoption  is when an "unmarried" parent adopts her partner’s biological or adoptive child. This adoption generally gives the second parent full legal parental rights, legal and custodial.